What is a fake girlfriend?
By: Hugh Wilson
Every heterosexual single man wants a girlfriend - eventually.
But sometimes not right now. Maybe you want to spend your energy climbing the career ladder and don’t have time to commit to a full-on relationship?
Maybe you’ve just come out of something long-term and want a bit of time to yourself?
Maybe you just want to stay footloose and fancy free, at least for a while?
In which case, why not enjoy the benefits of a fake girlfriend? We’re not kidding. Fake girlfriends exist and more and more men have them. Here’s the lowdown on fake relationships and what’s in it for you.
What is a fake girlfriend?
A fake girlfriend is a girlfriend, that’s fake. She isn’t real. And yet she kind of is.
Yes we know, it’s confusing. A fake girlfriend is a girl who pretends to be in a relationship with you, so though she’s real, the relationship isn’t. You get none of the obvious benefits of having a real girlfriend, like sex, companionship and someone to moan at you for not putting the loo seat down.
What you have instead is someone who will write you letters and emails as if from a real girlfriend. They may send you photos, videos and amorous texts. They will change their relationship status on Facebook to make people think they’re in a relationship with you and then post sweet little nothings on your wall.
And in return, you pay them. For $5, for instance, you can have a fake Facebook girlfriend for a week.
Some will go further than that. A website called Fake Internet Girlfriend offers a more complete service, with girls who will change their Facebook status, send you soppy Twitter messages, post romantically on your Facebook wall and even join your online gaming community (for an extra charge) so you can look like the geek with the girlfriend.
“In fact, you can even have your girlfriend join your guild, level up a character and even go on raids with you. Just let us know when you contact us exactly what you are looking for in a gamer girlfriend,” the site says.
Your Fake Internet Girlfriend will even leave a message on your voicemail or phone your secretary to pretend to set up a dinner date, so everyone really will think you’re dating. The rub? The basic package costs $250 a month.
Erm, why would you want a fake girlfriend?
Let’s be clear, your fake girlfriend isn’t an escort, and nor will she send you pornographic material. Your $5 won’t get you a cascade of saucy ‘sexts’ or a picture of her in her underwear. Titillation isn’t really the point of fake girlfriends.
So what is the point? Good question. Fake girlfriend “Sophia” told the BBC recently that: “It's mostly guys trying to make someone else jealous. Or to make their profile look like they've got girls all over them.”
Fake girlfriend adverts emphasise the point. They can make your ex green with jealousy, or convince a girl you really fancy that you’re the catch every girl is hoping to land. Your succession of conquests is bound to pique the interest of watching women, and in the world of social media everybody is always watching.
But fake girlfriends have been around far longer than Facebook. Before social media they would write you letters and emails, send photos and write romantic “thanks for dinner” type texts.
Back then, many men claimed to use the services to get nagging family off their backs. A fake girlfriend would stop all those embarrassing questions from mums and grans. “When will you get a nice girlfriend?” “When will you settle down?” “Why are you wasting all your time at work?”
How do you get a fake girlfriend?
Getting the (fake) girl is as easy as shopping on Amazon. Visit a site like Fake Internet Girlfriend, Cloud Girlfriend, Fiverr or Brazilian site Namaro Fake, describe what you’re looking for, pay the fee and let the bogus loving begin.
But there’s a catch. As relationship psychologist Jo Hemmings explains, a fake girlfriend might achieve your aim - unless somebody finds out she’s fake. At that point, your fake relationship could cause you a great deal of very real humiliation.
To avoid that scenario, there are a few rules. Keep the fake relationships short. You don’t want to get to the point when it’s starting to look a bit weird that nobody - even your best friend - has ever met her.
Before entering credit card details, devise a plausible scenario for how you met her. You can’t just blurt out that you met her in a bar and then watch as your story unravels under a shower of what?, when?, where? questions from mates.
Finally, try to make sure your fake girlfriend never writes anything on your wall that would seem ridiculous. So if everybody knows you hate fish, don’t have her thanking you for the romantic date at the seafood restaurant. Give her a few clues as to your likes and dislikes to make her posts, tweets and texts seem more plausible.
After that, if you really want to pretend to have a girlfriend, go for it. Just try to remember that the real thing is much more fun.
